Psycho Dave's guide to actual, real

Dumb Names for Cars

(In no particular order)

Below is a list of actual car names, from real manufacturers, which have either been sold, or are currently being sold in the USA. Note: Some Japanese cars listed are not sold in the USA, but the names are so funny, I had to include them. Also, Many Japanese cars have their names changed before they are sold in the USA.

Ford Edsel Sort of like calling a car "Bob", "John" or "Frank"
Daihatsu Rocky Did they name it after the movie or the mountains?
Suzuki Esteem It's a car that makes you feel good about yourself.
Daihatsu Charade It's pretending to be a car.
Mitsubishi Aspire It's ambition is to be a car.
Ford Escort It goes wherever you go.
Dodge Neon What's tacky-looking and glows in the dark?
AMC Gremlin Was this car full of them?
Toyota Stout Maybe they'd sell more if it was "Big & Tall"
Datsun Cherry Having it stolen is like losing your virginity.
Volkswagen Golf Is it as boring to drive as the game is to watch?
Subaru Justy Justy whaty?
AMC Pacer This car just goes back and forth all the time.
Toyota Cressida Named after the backstabbing, unfaithful Shakespeare Character, right?
Dodge Scamp This car is either a rogue, or it moves in a stop-and-go fashion.
Dodge Swinger This is the perfect car for wife-swappers.
Plymouth Reliant Ironic, considering it was marketed as a "disposable car".
Hyundai Accent Does it's engine make odd inflection noises?
Kia Mentor Does this car teach you how to drive it?
Mitsubishi Mirage The car that you only think you're driving.
Daihatsu Applause When you buy it, the salespeople cheer for you.
Daihatsu Rugger The perfect car for Carpet installers or Rugby players.
Honda Acty Crawler Does it have wheels or 6 legs?
Honda Ascot In accidents, this car gets all tied up in knots.
Honda Jazz Like, cool, man...
Honda Joy-Machine Like driving an orgasm
Isuzu Big Horn For people who hate the sound of those little beep-beep horns.
Isuzu Forward Does it have a reverse gear at all?
Mazda Bongo *
Mazda Bongo Brawny *
Mazda Bongo Friendee * Maybe if they keep trying, they'll figure out what's wrong with the name...
Mazda Carol Realizing "the Edsel factor", they quickly changed it's name to MeLady!
Mazda Titan It's either a really big SUV, or a condom...
Mitsubishi Guts That's all they'll find of you, after you crash it.
Nissan Big Thumb ???
Nissan Fairlady Z Possibly inspired by a Giant Robot show for girls.
Nissan Largo This car goes really slow.
DaihatsuTown CubeYes, it's a small, square minivan, advertized like it was a wardrobe or closet on wheels. I'm not kidding.
ChevroletCitationIs that what the cops give you when they pull you over?
PlymouthDusterI suppose it's better than "Mop" or "Broom".
DodgeDemonWho do you think would drive a car with a name like that? Could it be... Satan??
DodgeDrifterA car for Transients?
DodgeRampageThe Road-rage car.

New Additions as of 8-30-1999

MitsubishiMini Active Urban SandalA car with the name of a shoe?
NissanPrairie JoyMichael Landon Inspired...?
MitsubishiExceedCareful it doesn't "Exceed" the speed limit
IsuzuMysterious Utility WizardObviously, they wanted it to sound more like a tool than a truck.
MazdaScrumAnother car with Rugby players in mind...
IsuzuGiga 20 Light DumpAs appealing as a bowel movement...
NashRamblerThis is the car for people who just drive on and on aimlessly...
PlymouthFuryAnother road-rage car!
ChevroletLuvA Make-out truck

Just in case you don't believe some of the names in this list, here are the websites of all the manufacturers listed above. Maybe you can find EVEN MORE dumb car names that I overlooked!

Ford Daimler-Chrysler American Motors
Chevrolet General Motors Cadillac
Suzuki Toyota Kia
Mazda Nissan Mitsubishi
Honda Daihatsu Hyundai
Isuzu Volkswagen