Dumb Names for Cars
(In no particular order)
Below is a list of actual car names, from real manufacturers, which have either been sold, or are currently being sold in the USA. Note: Some Japanese cars listed are not sold in the USA, but the names are so funny, I had to include them. Also, Many Japanese cars have their names changed before they are sold in the USA.
| Make | Name | Comments |
| Ford | Edsel | Sort of like calling a car "Bob", "John" or "Frank" |
| Daihatsu | Rocky | Did they name it after the movie or the mountains? |
| Suzuki | Esteem | It's a car that makes you feel good about yourself. |
| Daihatsu | Charade | It's pretending to be a car. |
| Mitsubishi | Aspire | It's ambition is to be a car. |
| Ford | Escort | It goes wherever you go. |
| Dodge | Neon | What's tacky-looking and glows in the dark? |
| AMC | Gremlin | Was this car full of them? |
| Toyota | Stout | Maybe they'd sell more if it was "Big & Tall" |
| Datsun | Cherry | Having it stolen is like losing your virginity. |
| Volkswagen | Golf | Is it as boring to drive as the game is to watch? |
| Subaru | Justy | Justy whaty? |
| AMC | Pacer | This car just goes back and forth all the time. |
| Toyota | Cressida | Named after the backstabbing, unfaithful Shakespeare Character, right? |
| Dodge | Scamp | This car is either a rogue, or it moves in a stop-and-go fashion. |
| Dodge | Swinger | This is the perfect car for wife-swappers. |
| Plymouth | Reliant | Ironic, considering it was marketed as a "disposable car". |
| Hyundai | Accent | Does it's engine make odd inflection noises? |
| Kia | Mentor | Does this car teach you how to drive it? |
| Mitsubishi | Mirage | The car that you only think you're driving. |
| Daihatsu | Applause | When you buy it, the salespeople cheer for you. |
| Daihatsu | Rugger | The perfect car for Carpet installers or Rugby players. |
| Honda | Acty Crawler | Does it have wheels or 6 legs? |
| Honda | Ascot | In accidents, this car gets all tied up in knots. |
| Honda | Jazz | Like, cool, man... |
| Honda | Joy-Machine | Like driving an orgasm |
| Isuzu | Big Horn | For people who hate the sound of those little beep-beep horns. | Isuzu | Forward | Does it have a reverse gear at all? |
| Mazda | Bongo | * |
| Mazda | Bongo Brawny | * |
| Mazda | Bongo Friendee | * Maybe if they keep trying, they'll figure out what's wrong with the name... |
| Mazda | Carol | Realizing "the Edsel factor", they quickly changed it's name to MeLady! |
| Mazda | Titan | It's either a really big SUV, or a condom... |
| Mitsubishi | Guts | That's all they'll find of you, after you crash it. |
| Nissan | Big Thumb | ??? |
| Nissan | Fairlady Z | Possibly inspired by a Giant Robot show for girls. |
| Nissan | Largo | This car goes really slow. |
| Daihatsu | Town Cube | Yes, it's a small, square minivan, advertized like it was a wardrobe or closet on wheels. I'm not kidding. |
| Chevrolet | Citation | Is that what the cops give you when they pull you over? |
| Plymouth | Duster | I suppose it's better than "Mop" or "Broom". |
| Dodge | Demon | Who do you think would drive a car with a name like that? Could it be... Satan?? |
| Dodge | Drifter | A car for Transients? |
| Dodge | Rampage | The Road-rage car. |
New Additions as of 8-30-1999
| Mitsubishi | Mini Active Urban Sandal | A car with the name of a shoe? |
| Nissan | Prairie Joy | Michael Landon Inspired...? |
| Mitsubishi | Exceed | Careful it doesn't "Exceed" the speed limit |
| Isuzu | Mysterious Utility Wizard | Obviously, they wanted it to sound more like a tool than a truck. |
| Mazda | Scrum | Another car with Rugby players in mind... |
| Isuzu | Giga 20 Light Dump | As appealing as a bowel movement... |
| Nash | Rambler | This is the car for people who just drive on and on aimlessly... |
| Plymouth | Fury | Another road-rage car! |
| Chevrolet | Luv | A Make-out truck |
Just in case you don't believe some of the names in this list, here are the websites of all the manufacturers listed above. Maybe you can find EVEN MORE dumb car names that I overlooked!
| Ford | Daimler-Chrysler | American Motors |
| Chevrolet | General Motors | Cadillac |
| Suzuki | Toyota | Kia |
| Mazda | Nissan | Mitsubishi |
| Honda | Daihatsu | Hyundai |
| Isuzu | Volkswagen |
