Retard Of he Year

The Infamous "Child Fun" unsolicited Email

Thousands of people across the country got a suprise in their Email box on 10-21-96. Some unknown person, apparently either a complete bastard pulling a hideous pank on someone, or a genuine retard infatuated by kiddie-porn, used up several free AOL disks (You know -- they practically give them away), and sent a solicitation for Child Pornography to unsuspecting net users all across the world. America Online, due to the enormous response to these letters, closed the free accounts right away, and called the FBI to investigate the matter.

Yes, yours trully was one of the recipients of this now infamous ad. It brought rage to me, to think that I would be suspected of wanting child pornography -- that I would be included on a list of potential customers. On the other hand, I laughed my ass off, thinking what a complete retard this moron was for including his name and address in the ad. If this guy is for real, he's essentially setting himself up for arrest, by including his name and address, and well, he'll get what he deserves.

Here's the letter:

>        Received: from 
>                  ( []) 
>                  by
>                  (8.6.11/Xensei-M1.01/041596-JSM) with 
>                  ESMTP id BAA10182 for ; 
>                  Mon, 21 Oct 1996 01:08:16 -0400
>          X-UIDL: 845898947.002
>            From:
>        Received: by (8.6.12/8.6.12) 
>                  id AAA09700; Mon, 21 Oct 1996 00:39:43 -0400
>            Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1996 00:39:43 -0400
>      Message-ID: <>
>         Subject: Child Fun!
>   Apparently-To: 
>          Status: RO
>X-Mozilla-Status: 0001
>  Content-Length: 2456
> wrote:
> ---------------------
> Forwarded message:
> Subj:    Child pornography
> Date:    96-10-21 00:11:18 EDT
> From:    TipToe0001
> To:      TipToe0001
> Hi! I sent you this letter because your email address was on a list that fit
> this category.  I am a fan of child pornography and for the past 4 years, I
> have been able to gather quite a collection of it.  I have pictures, VHS
> tapes, posters, audio recordings, and games based on child pornography.  I am
> now selling my products (or trading for other child pornography).  I have a
> complete color catalog of all my products now available.  You can purchase
> pictures, both normal kodak, and computer GIF or JPG's.  You can purchase
> posters, the VHS tapes, and Audio recordings.  If you send your picture, I
> can morph your face into one of the action shots to make it appear that you
> are the one having anal sex with a little boy.  There are many preferences
> you can choose from.  Hair color, weight, age, height.  Age of the little
> boys range from 7 yrs to 17.  Little girls, age 4 to 19.  For $2.99 we can
> send you a personalized audio cassette of a little boy moaning and groaning
> your name.  There are many other products and services.
> If you were not supposed to receive this letter, please delete it
> immediately.  I'm sorry.  You will not receive another letter from me.
> Here are some prices:
> Complete Color Catalog (160 pages).............................$5.00
> 100 Pictures Little boys age 7-12..............................$9.95
> 120 Pictures Little boys age 13-17............................$11.95
> VHS tape, little boys "Bath Time".............................$49.95
> VHS tape, little boys "Happy B-day, Timmy"....................$49.95
> Personalize Audio tape.........................................$2.99
> Personalized morphed action pic...............................$14.95
>     (be sure to include your picture)
> If you have any child pornography yourself, preferably little boys ages 7-9,
> I will trade or buy them from you.  If they are action shots, of an adult
> with the little boy having sex, I am willing to trade big, or pay a lot.
>  Please write to me for more details.  Thanks.
> You can send a cash, check, or money order. Make it out to my 
> company :"Kwo Un"
> Send your order to:
> Child Fun
> Attn: Steve Barnard
> 81-12 Roosevelt Ave., Apt. 608
> Jackson Heights, NY  11372
> You can also send your credit card numbers.  I do not accept American Express
> cards.

If this is a prank, and the person whose name is on the end of the letter is it's hapless victim, his life will be turned into shit unjustifiably. The FBI is going to be on this poor sucker's ass for years to come. His mail will be opened, his trash will be inspected, his phone will be tapped, and his life will be plagued by people following him everywhere. I don't care what this guy did to earn someone's hatred. Nobody deserves to have this kind of prank pulled on them, unless they really are child-molesters or kiddie-porn collectors.

On the other hand, though -- I gotta hand it to the alleged prankster. This really is a great prank of mammoth proportions, and George Hayduke would be proud of him!