How to have a really cool Y2K Party

10 helpful suggestions for a real Y2K blow-out celebration!

This year will be my first attempt at a New Year's celebration. Since most scandal-sheets are already focussing on the end of the world, I thought up the following activities to make anyone's Y2K party more interesting and fun.

(1) Rent a big-screen TV and DVD player, and show "Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb movie", which is the best and most comprehensive collection of atomic bomb footage ever assembled. This is what you play just as the clock strikes midnight. People with a dolby surround-sound system will gain extra-points when showing this film!

(2) Other pre-video-Holocaust films (the films you show BEFORE 12:00 midnight) can include:

The Late Great Planet Earth -- Hal Lindsey's SCHLOCK-umentary about the end of the world

Image Of the Beast -- look for it in Christian Video stores. It's a born-again SCIFI movie about the end times which is so badly made that it's good

Armageddon and the E.C. Antichrist -- Jack Van Impe's hysterically schizophrenic, totally confusing, and completely outdated SCHLOCK-umentary about the end times.

(3) You can also have a party game called "pick the prophecy", where you copy or clip a bunch of end-times prophecies from the tabloids (World Weekly News, National Enquirer, Weekly Globe, etc), throw them into a hat, and have everyone pick one.

(4) Foods can include:

Marinated MUSHROOMS (as in "mushroom cloud")
Kool Aide (just like the Doomsday cults make!)
Tapioca Pudding (As used by the Heaven's Gate cult!)
Bright green Jello. For added flair, serve it on a tray with a lighted-bottom to make it glow in the dark.
(5) And of course, what Y2K party would be complete without a group singalong of some old Doomsday titles like:
So Long Mom, I'm off to Drop The Bomb (Tom Lehrer)
Christmas at Ground Zero (Weird Al Yankovic)
We will all go together when we Go (Tom Lehrer)
Who's Next? (Tom Lehrer)
(6) Instead of the usual New Years noisemakers and silly paper hats, guests would wear of the following motifs::
The Civil-Defense Motif: Don cheap white-plastic constuction-site hardhats, with civil defense logos painted on the front, and carry flashlights. For added effect, wear a gasmask.

The Survivalist/Militia Motif: Wear army-surplus commouflage clothing, and carry cap-guns for that "militia look". Spruce it up with a real chemical warfare headpiece.

The Paranoid Christian motif: Wear baptismal robes and bar-code stickers on your forehead.

The "Doomsday Cult" motif: This involves dressing in black track-suits and Nike sneakers, shaving your head, and possibly bringing a purple-satin shroud, which will be worn when the clock strikes midnight.

The UFO-Cult Motif: Anything that involves silver satin or lame', tin-foil accessories, and possibly a space-helmet.

(7) Decorate your guest room with civil-defense items, canned goods, cardboard boxes stacked high, and water-jugs. Put a "Bomb Shelter" sign on the outside of the door. Guests who drink too much will be asked to spend the night in the "bomb-shelter". When a guest passes out from too much alcohol (or "kool aid") consumption, they can be placed on the bed with a purple shroud over them.

(8) Festoon your living room with various barrier-tapes from your hardware/hazmat store. These orange and yellow plastic tapes are used to block off areas where there are hazardous materials. A must is the "Radioactive Materials -- Do not enter" tape, but "hazardous materials", and "biohazard" are also appropriate.

(9) Decorate your bathroom as a Biological/Chemical warfare treatment facility. Make your own shower-curtain, and decorate it with biohazard symbols. You could even make a sign that says "Chemical Shower". You can hang some "biohazard" or "Hazardous Materials" tape around your toilet.

(10) When the clock strikes midnight, everyone should put on gas-masks, bought from a hardware store, or an army surplus store, and sing songs from suggestion #5

All of these things should make for a fun Y2K party. If anyone else has some suggestions that might fit, Email me!